They'll Believe It!

US to beam Arabic TV to Europe

They'll believe it! They really will!! Wouldn't you?

The US plans to begin Arab-language television broadcasts to Europe later this year to try and win the hearts and minds of Arab Muslims there, officials say.

No problem, right? Just give them a few sitcoms and the hearts and minds will follow, won't they? Of course they will!

If Congress approves the request within the next several weeks as officials expect, Virginia-based Al-Hurra could begin broadcasting by late this year to a Muslim population estimated at 11 million people in Western Europe alone.

And they certainly will believe whatever they see on the Al-Hurra network, won't they? Are you kidding?? Why wouldn't Arabic-speaking Europeans believe what they saw on an American television network? You'd believe it, wouldn't you? Well, why wouldn't they??

The Bush administration views satellite TV as a soft-power tool for building goodwill towards the United States, which has been sorely lacking in the Muslim world, especially since the recent US-led invasions of Afghanistan and Iraq.

Only a subversive "news" organization would try to link "lack of goodwill in the Muslim world" with "the recent US-led invasions of Afghanistan and Iraq". Only some off-the-wall radical sleazeball propaganda operation like Aljazeera would do that, right? Because there's clearly no connection between the two!

The only reason why the Muslim world doesn't love America is because they don't get enough American TV, am I right? Of course I am. So it makes perfect sense to change that, doesn't it? Of course it does!

And they'll believe whatever they see, won't they? Of course they will!! Wouldn't you??

Officials say Al-Hurra has grown to reach about 25% of satellite TV owners in the Middle East and viewers increasingly find its newscasts credible and reliable.

There, you see? Officials say!! And of course they must be right. Foreign viewers naturally find American television "credible and reliable". They probably see it as "fair and balanced", as well. Wouldn't they? Of course they would! And so would you. Wouldn't you?

However, there has been widespread scepticism in the Arab world since al-Hurra's launch last year.

Most commentators have belittled it as little more than a US propaganda.

Now why would anyone say something like that? Why would anyone even think something like that? I would never suspect the US of broadcasting propaganda into Europe! Would you?

Listen: They'll believe it! They will definitely believe it!! Every single Arabic-speaking Muslim in Europe will believe whatever they see on Al-Hurra, and they will love us for it. This will be the most effective set of television broadcasts ever, I would think. And I don't see how anyone could argue with that!

"I just don't know how effective it's going to be. A better use of resources would be to work with moderate leaders throughout the Arab world," Nancy Snow, a propaganda expert at California State University, Fullerton, said.

Well, now, who are you going to believe, unnamed "officials" or an admitted "propaganda expert"? Propaganda experts by definition are in the business of telling lies, aren't they? So I don't know why anyone would put any stock in a "propaganda expert". I prefer to believe unnamed "officials". Don't you? Doesn't everybody?

Really ... It's a very simple matter. All Al-Hurra needs to do is show some half-decent TV shows to the Arabic-speaking Europeans, and the entire Muslim world will fall in love with the United States! Bring on some "Roseanne" re-runs, and all the Arabs and Muslims in the entire world will relate to them immediately, won't they? I know I would. Wouldn't you?

A couple of big obnoxious overweight adults and a trio of miserable spoiled teenagers would be immediately embraced by absolutely every Arabic-speaking Muslim in Europe, wouldn't they? How could they not? I mean, these are the sort of people you'd want in your living room every evening, wouldn't you? Of course you would! They will fall so completely in love with Rosie and Dan and their adorable little brats that pretty soon, by inevitable extension, they will fall hopelessly in love with us, too, won't they? I know I would. You would too! Wouldn't you?

They will open their hearts and fill their minds, and their oil will become ours! It's that simple!!

What?

Do you think I'm kidding? Do you suspect that I'm being a little bit facetious? Well, what if I am? So what? Doesn't that make me even more credible and reliable? I think it makes me more fair and balanced, too, don't you? How could you possibly trust somebody who was all serious all the time?

But really, all kidding aside: It would be very easy for the Al-Hurra network to make Arabic-speaking Europeans believe whatever they see on television. All Al-Hurra needs to do is cover some of the news stories that never seem to get any coverage on domestic American television.

Stories like Rumsfeld Sued for Torture

[T]he American Civil Liberties Union and a human-rights organization sued Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld and three Army commanders yesterday on behalf of former detainees, charging that the military authorized illegal interrogation techniques.

The legal action stems from some of the well-documented instances of prisoner mistreatment in the Abu Ghraib prison outside of Baghdad, Iraq. However, it also includes less-known examples of abuse at other sites in Iraq and in Afghanistan. The lawsuit was filed on behalf of four Iraqis and four Afghanis by the ACLU and the group Human Rights First.

or Bush Lives In A Bubble

"The great motorcade," wrote Canadian correspondent Don Murray, "swept through the streets of the city… The crowds … but there were no crowds. George W. Bush's imperial procession through Europe took place in a hermetically sealed environment. In Brussels it was, at times, eerie. The procession containing the great, armour-plated limousine (flown in from Washington) rolled through streets denuded of human beings except for riot police. Whole areas of the Belgian capital were sealed off before the American president passed."

Murray doesn't mention the 19 American escort vehicles in that procession with the President's car (known to insiders as "the beast"), or the 200 secret service agents, or the 15 sniffer dogs, or the Blackhawk helicopter, or the 5 cooks, or the 50 White House aides, all of which added up to only part of the President's vast traveling entourage. Nor does he mention the huge press contingent tailing along inside the president's security "bubble," many of them evidently with their passports not in their own possession but in the hands of White House officials, or the more than 10,000 policemen and the various frogmen the Germans mustered for the President's brief visit to the depopulated German town of Mainz to shake hands with Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder.

or Depleted Uranium Is A Weapon Of Mass Destruction

Vietnam was a chemical war for oil, permanently contaminating large regions and countries downriver with Agent Orange, and environmentally the most devastating war in world history. But since 1991, the U.S. has staged four nuclear wars using depleted uranium weaponry, which, like Agent Orange, meets the U.S. government definition of Weapons of Mass Destruction. Vast regions in the Middle East and Central Asia have been permanently contaminated with radiation.

or even USA Used Outlawed Weapons In Fallujah

[S]urveys and studies which a medical team did in al-Fallujah and subsequently reported to the Ministry confirm that US forces used substances that are internationally prohibited -- including mustard gas, nerve gas, and other burning chemicals -- in the course of its attacks on the city.

They'll believe it! Sure they will!! Wouldn't you?? Despite whatever you hear about Arabs and Muslims, they are reasonable people.

Just 'em some truth and they'll believe it. Wouldn't you?? John Lennon would!

Gimme Some Truth

I’m sick and tired of hearing things
From uptight, short-sighted, narrow-minded hypocritics
All I want is the truth
Just gimme some truth
I’ve had enough of reading things
By neurotic, psychotic, pig-headed politicians
All I want is the truth
Just gimme some truth

No short-haired, yellow-bellied, son of tricky dicky
Is gonna mother hubbard soft soap me
With just a pocketful of hope
Money for dope
Money for rope

No short-haired, yellow-bellied, son of tricky dicky
Is gonna mother hubbard soft soap me
With just a pocketful of soap
Money for dope
Money for rope

I’m sick to death of seeing things
From tight-lipped, condescending, mama’s little chauvinists
All I want is the truth
Just gimme some truth now

I’ve had enough of watching scenes
Of schizophrenic, ego-centric, paranoiac, prima-donnas
All I want is the truth now
Just gimme some truth

No short-haired, yellow-bellied, son of tricky dicky
Is gonna mother hubbard soft soap me
With just a pocketful of soap
It’s money for dope
Money for rope

Ah, I’m sick and tired of hearing things
From uptight, short-sighted, narrow-minded hypocrites
All I want is the truth now
Just gimme some truth now

I’ve had enough of reading things
By neurotic, psychotic, pig-headed politicians
All I want is the truth now
Just gimme some truth now

All I want is the truth now
Just gimme some truth now
All I want is the truth
Just gimme some truth
All I want is the truth
Just gimme some truth