Tuesday, June 7, 2005

Irony Overload Alert:
Bush, CNN Can Cause Spontaneous Human Imposion!

Major international bodies are usually very difficult to implode. Most of them can only be imploded with industrial levels of irony, and Monday 'president' bush demonstrated once again that he can deliver enough irony to implode virtually anything. CNN gave him a bit of help here and there, as you can see in this article: OAS members balk at U.S. intervention plan begins like this:
Venezuela's foreign minister says plan aimed at his country

FORT LAUDERDALE, Florida (CNN) -- A U.S. proposal to intervene in Western Hemisphere nations to push democracy rankled the leaders of several South American countries debating the issue Monday at the meeting of the Organization of American States.

"There needs to be a dialogue rather than an intervention," said Brazil's foreign minister, Celso Amorim. "Democracy cannot be imposed. It is born from dialogue."

The United States has not established how or where the OAS should intervene,
Forgive me for interrupting in the middle of a sentence, but did we just gloss over an implication that the USA should establish "how or where the OAS should intervene"? Isn't this something that the OAS should establish for itself?. I wasn't supposed to mention that, was I?
but one likely target is Venezuela.
'Target'? Oh, Venezuela is a 'likely target' now ... I see! No wonder Venezuela is worried about an imminent US invasion!
The OAS also is concerned about political instability in Ecuador and Bolivia.
Which is kind of funny, because these are the very same places that the USA is concerned about ... meanwhile the rest of the OAS is concerned about ... Can you guess? Oh no! That was too easy, wasn't it?

The rest of the article includes these high-irony gems:
The Bush administration has accused Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez of using his country's democratic institutions to impose authoritarian rule.
Whereas bush has done nothing of the sort?
Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, who chairs the summit as head of the host delegation, said Sunday the Bush administration has a "renewed interest" in the OAS as a way to promote its global democracy agenda.
I'm sure this administration has a renewed interest, but its global agenda can hardly be described as "democracy"!
The U.S. proposal calls for the OAS to craft a mechanism within its Democratic Charter that permits the group to intervene in nations to foster or strengthen democracy.
In other words, bush just told the OAS: "make yourself into a tool which I can use against you in my drive to rule the world"
The OAS has previously intervened in situations of political turmoil. In 2000, it sent an envoy to Peru following fraudulent elections.
And why were they not in Ohio in 2004? Why not Florida in 2000? Why not Georgia in 2002? I wasn't supposed to mention all this, was I?
The group, founded in 1948 to promote and defend democracy, has historically not been able to resolve crises in the hemisphere.
Perhaps because such crises are often caused by the strongest member of the Organization? I wasn't supposed to mention that either, was I?

Oh well ... We're almost through! Do you think we can get to the end of the article without imploding? Let's see:
In an address to the group Monday, President Bush did not mention the U.S. intervention proposal, but he pushed his vision of extending democracy worldwide.

"Bringing a better life to our people requires choosing between two competing visions," he said. "One ... is founded on representative government, integration into the world markets.
... as if those things could ever occur together ...
"...The other seeks to roll back the democratic progress of the past two decades by playing to fear, pitting neighbor against neighbor and blaming others for their own failures to provide for their people."
Ouch! Ding Ding Ding! All Irony Systems Overloaded!

Ka-Boom! Spontaneous Human Implosion!!

Protect yourselves and your family. Be prepared for flying shards of truth. Spontaneous Human Impolsion can happen anywhere, anytime. And you could be next!!!